You can’t hurry love…

Internet Dating…or can you? If you’re single but fresh out of dinner parties and feel like you already know every face at every Irish pub in Nice, you could always enter into the world of French online dating. It’s like English online dating but with more facial hair. Admittedly, it’s a bit of a lottery and you may have to kiss a lot of frogs, but you just never know where le grand amour might be hiding. And even if you don’t end up meeting your next girlfriend/boyfriend/soul mate/best friend, it is certainly a memorable experience. Click here for the most popular dating sites used in Nice.

But first, here are a few cyber-courting tips.

 

1. If a 6ft 2in Tom Ford lookalike from Antibes describes himself as an affluent 30-year-old “health professional” with an interest in sports cars, don’t be surprised if a short, tubby fortysomething shows up. Also be aware that people who’s profile pics look just like Megan Fox or Rihanna, are using pictures of Megan Fox or Rihanna.

2. Ignore shirtless pics, bathroom mirror selfies and ass shots that somehow managed to get past the moderators. Next!

3. Be aware that if you tick “doesn’t tolerate smoking” you are eliminating 70% of eligible men & women in Nice who could be total darlings despite their blackened throats and yellow fingers. And cigarettes suppress the appetite meaning he or she will be a cheaper date.

4. If someone asks you for a “plan cul” or “plan q” this means they are looking for a fuck buddy.

5. Expect poetic and intense intros. This is France, after all. It will either feel like honey being softly caressed into your ear lobes or you will just assume they must be joking. Here’s an example:

Ce qu’il cherche chez une femme:
“Vous savez, moi je ne crois pas qu’il y ait de bonne ou de mauvaise situation, moi si je devais résumer ma vie aujourd’hui avec vous, je dirais que c’est d’abord des rencontres, des gens qui m’ont tendu la main peut-être à un moment ou je ne pouvais pas, ou j’étais seul chez moi. Et c’est assez curieux de se dire que, les hasards, les rencontres forgent une destinée..Parce que quand on a le gout de la chose, quand on a le gout de la chose bien faite, le beau geste, parfois on ne trouve pas l’interlocuteur en face, je dirais, le miroir qui vous aide à avancer…Alors ce n’est pas mon cas comme je disais là, parce que moi au contraire j’ai pu…et je dis merci à la vie, je lui dis merci, je chante la vie je danse la vie je ne suis qu’amour!”

6. Keep your own profile short, original and upbeat. An amusing few lines about bananas beats an essay on your life.

7. If you choose to communicate in English, be prepared that replies like this might not do it for you:
“Hmm I wannnnt an hunghover with you J we need to meet us soon. Lay on a parc? Thanks to take some news. I’m hurry to meet you J I’m enjoy it.”

8. If you’re British, don’t have that one drink to calm your nerves prior to the date; you know you’ll only end up arriving plastered.

9. Whatever you do, don’t take your date somewhere quiet. You could be in need of inspiration for conversation, so it’s best to go to bars with plenty of atmosphere like Les Distilleries Idéales, Café des Chineurs, Le Blast or Le Sud.

10. If your date leans into kiss you at the end of the evening and you’re not feeling it, you could try this
And if you’re frustrated with online dating in general, watch Amy Webb’s TED talk.

 

adopteunmecHow much is that hottie in the window?
AdopteUnMec.com

Around 6 million subscribers
Free for girls, 30€/month for guys

How about a dating site where shopping for men is as easy as shopping for shoes? Feminists look away. Adopte Un Mec is a supermarket of lurrve in which men are quite literally on the shelf and women are passing through the aisles with their baskets. As men sit on the shelf competing for attention and waiting to get noticed, women can place as many “products” in their basket as they like, opening up the lines of communication.

Aside from the obvious insulting aspects to both genders, it’s playful and tongue-in-cheek with an option for “local produce” and fictional special offers on redheads, geeks and rockers. People group themselves under “social type” such as intellectual, executive, bohemian, adventurous, and athletic, and into “style” categories including chic, metrosexual, sporty, casual, men in uniform, skater, hip hop, and corporate.

Sounds ridiculous, right? But 6 million people are currently loving ridiculous. And very addicted.
Besides, that’s how I met my husband; a handsome, witty entrepreneur who gives the best foot massages this side of Place Massena.

Note: CDD = Contrat à durée déterminée (short fling)
CDI = Contrat à durée indéterminée (long term relationship)

 

20070218_meetic01Jolly nice to Meetic you
Meetic.com

840,000 subscribers
35€ for 1 month, 60€ for 3 months, 90€ for 6 months (for both sexes)

Though Meetic has less subscribers, these are serious paying individuals most with a genuine desire for the real deal. It’s essentially the French version of Match.com with an excellent search function which enables you to fine tune your criteria to education level, career type, beard or no beard, smoker or non smoker – pretty much everything short of inside-leg measurement and BMI index. It’s a middle-of-the-road, hmm, vanilla experience. You won’t see many wacky creative types, but you’ll likely see less of the sleaze factor and more chivalrous consultant types with, I dunno, a pilot’s license. It’s for “ordinary” people looking for a safe environment to meet a “normal” person. Plus, you need to have a job in order to afford the membership fee! Make sure you cancel the auto-renewing feature WELL in advance of the expiration date.

 

OkCupid.com_website_homepage_screenshotWhere will Cupid’s arrow land?
OkCupid.com

30 million active users
free

OkCupid, otherwise known as OkStupid, is FREE! Which sounds great, doesn’t it? But free means that as well as encountering a lot of cool and handsome people, you’ll also come across spammers, scammers and pests looking for casual sex. It also means that people get lazy about deleting their profiles, so the guy you’re waiting for a reply from is either ignoring you or already met someone 6 months ago before you even signed up.

If you can turn a blind eye to all that, you could have a lot of fun, plus in Nice you’ll find more international expaty travelly people on this site than on Adopte or Meetic.

When you sign up, as well as composing the usual short essay about yourself, you answer a series of multiple choice questions picked at random from thousands. It’s kinda like a Cosmopolitan quiz but for everyone to see. These range from the fairly ordinary, “Could you date a smoker?” to the logical, “Which most closely describes how you organize your sock drawer?” to the laughably weird, “You have a one-time opportunity to use a machine with a numbered dial, which, when turned, adds that number to both your IQ and your weight. What do you do?” Like this, the site uses algorithm to match partners and has a huge success rate in doing so.

Basically, it’s a lottery and anything can happen. Check out this couple who met on OkCupid and decided to forgo conventional first dates, taking a 21-day trip across eight countries instead.

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