A cinema for people who hate the cinema

Cinemas wouldn’t be so bad if other people didn’t insist on going at exactly the same time to watch exactly the same film. You pay a third of your monthly salary for a ticket, a stale popcorn and a 2ft tall Coca-Cola only to endure two hours of packet rustling and coughing fits. You alternate between left cheek and right cheek to get comfortable and then some bellend decides they can’t wait another 45 minutes to go to the toilet and stumbles past you treading on your ankles as you twist your feet to a 90 degree angle.

Yes, I’m talking about the cinemas on Avenue Jean Médecin.

If you prefer to experience the magic of film in an intimate setting, try the little art house theatre, Le Mercury. It has all the charm and personality of an old cinema but with lush, springy seating and no M&Ms. You won’t find teenagers texting, giggling and fake shushing. No, no – these are blazer-wearing adults. Here there is no need for ushers because there is nothing to ush. It’s a bunch of serious filmgoers watching small nano-budget gems that leave you with a heavy head. You’ll find anything from indie flicks that premiered at Sundance or Cannes to cult classics, documentaries and even the odd blockbuster thrown in. AND, they’re all in their original language (VO) meaning that Anglophones don’t have to listen to a hoarse Charles Aznavour type pretending to be Ryan Gosling.

For film times at all cinemas, download the AlloCiné app.

Cinéma Mercury, 16 place Garibaldi

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